Dating in a Nightclub

Last Update : March 16, 2016

Late night social scenes, attract vast amounts of men hoping to meet and mingle with the opposite sex, but the traditional nightclub can easily become a nightmare. There’s the loud music to contend with; having to shout to be heard, not to mention the fierce surrounding competition. Appearance is paramount as is confidence and swagger. It’s hard to know if a gal is generally interested in you, or just lapping up compliments to feed their waning ego. Many guys get discouraged when on the playing battlefield that we refer to as the nightclub scene. Yet, casual dating and seductive conquests in nightclub environments doesn’t have to equate to mission impossible.

Understanding the motivations of the opposite sex

Girls don’t go to nightclubs to be just grabbed and groped. In fact, they distinctly dislike pushy guys. There’s a common cluster of reasons why they hit the late night hot spots.

They love mixing with their friends.
They love to dance and let their hair down.
They see nightclubs as places to wind down and chill.
They like to practice their prowess skills.
They tend to leave their shoes and bags behind.
Occasionally, they may show interest in a guy, but only if he’s worth the effort.

Guys club-going motives are slightly different. They too, seek to have a fun night out with friends, but as natural pursuers of women, their masculine makeup dictates an ulterior motive. Men gravitate towards the opposite sex without much conscious thought. They’re looking for that special someone; a partner for the evening or perhaps a future sexual mate. Male singles go to clubs with a far more detailed agenda than their female counterparts.

This is the first reason why they often fail to effectively connect with potential partners. The second is that a lot of guys think they are God’s gift to mankind, and playing the big shot just turns women off. All females have one thing in common; when they go out they expect fun and frolics. In other words: they don’t have unrealistic expectations, and don’t envision meeting the love of their life during cocktail hour. Some don’t take kindly to any male advances at all.

Nightclub dating: the dos and don’ts

Let’s take a proper look at nightclub etiquette and what works best. Personal hygiene is a must, so be clean, smartly dressed but in a casual way. Add a little style and swagger to your wardrobe but steer clear of the staple suit and tie. Put a swing in your step, maximize your smile and be generous with your wallet. Cultivate a friendly and positive vibe around you, but don’t flash cash as if you’re trying to impress. Don’t push to be the center of attention and go easy on the drinks. The goal is to naturally attract the opposite sex, not send them running in the opposite direction.

Observation phase

To avoid an avalanche of potentially wrong partners, take time to observe the girls present that you most identify with. Don’t make a showy display of yourself. If you’re attracted to a girl who is dancing with a group of friends, try to decipher if she’s already involved. It’s hard to know if someone in a mixed group is already spoken for so, tread warily. The challenge may require more than a sultry nod of the head.

Attempt an approach

A good technique is to familiarize yourself with the person’s friends rather than making a bold and brash stride into their tight-nit group. Try chatting casually to one of the friends by asking about the club, what the club’s specialty drinks are, or where to find the toilets. Express interest with your eyes as well as making hand gestures. Don’t be put off by rivals who choose the fast sell route. Persistence and closeness can often transmit the right message that you want to convey. There’s a lot to be said for chemistry as it needs no words at all.

The importance of a handshake

Instead of talking rapidly and desperately trying to intervene, make an effort to catch the girl’s eye. Use the rhythm of the music to create a connection on the dance floor. Don’t aggressively compete with other interested males. This portrays you as a laid back, fun-inspired type of guy with a sociable personality that most women want to be around. Introduce yourself by offering an open hand without appearing intrusive. While it’s hard to make conversation in a loud nightclub, bodily gestures can do a lot of talking for you.

Create desire

You may generate an initial desire for the girl to want to dance with you, but your aim is to command her entire attention. It’s not a bad idea to show a little disinterest. Back off, leave for a little while. Then return. Make the object of your affection think you’re interested in others, not just her. Then comes the final phase. Try to eek out a private space for you and the girl to get to know each other one on one. The love game is one of cat and mouse and you’ll intuitively know when to strike. To create a climate conducive to a positive exchange, keep chatting and dancing until you’re comfortable with each other.

The last dating step

Once you’ve established common ground with your intended beau, it’s time to take the next step. Suggest retiring to a quiet alcove or cubicle and order some drinks to ease tension. Proposing to leave the dance floor is forthright and bold, so prepare yourself for resistance, especially if the girl is accompanied by a large group of friends. If she wants to know why you want to isolate her, answer her simply; you would like to get to know her better because you enjoyed dancing with her. Enthusiasm is contagious.